Life With Janaa

Life is an amazing thing.  It's the unexpected that always keeps me in wonderment about it.  For those of you that have followed my story...Feb. 27th marked an unexpected turn of events in my and my family's life.  Little did I know that it would set me up to move towards a new chapter that brings even more positive changes for myself and those I care about.

I have learned so much from this experience.  The first thing that I have learned more than anything is that God takes care of his children.  I truly believe now the scripture in Matthew 6:31 that says, Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat?' or 'What will we drink?' or 'What will we wear for clothing?'.  Not only was I provided with enough severance pay to make it through my period of unemployment, but I was able to pick up extra supplementary income without any problem at all. 

I learned that I do have what it takes to step up and take the bull by the horns.  I just finished reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl.  It was a good knock in the seat of the pants for me that regardless of anything else, I don't live, and can't live without finding some sort of meaning in my life.  What am I here for.  Now, seriously, I mean I can go to the Westminster Catechism and answer question one concerning the purpose of man: "Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever."  But how do I express that daily , and through my legacy that I leave?  I'm not convinced that this job necessisarily is the answer to that question, but the process of finding it has awakened within me a sense that I will not figure out what my meaning is by not searching for it.  When you stop searching, you die...and I was slowly dying. 

One of my biggest problems in life has always been one of self-confidence, and this interlude between one job and the next, also helped me learn to build strength in this area.  I've started reading the "4:8 Principle" (which I need to finish), and have started to slowly realize alot of who I am is determined by my own thought process.  I know that one reason that I got this job is because I went in there with confidence, thinking positively, knowing who I was and what I was capable of.  I'm good at what I do, and I'm good at what I know.  And I know it better than most people out there.  And if I can think that way about my job, then why not my entire life?  The trick is to make it consistent and not lapse.  That's where I struggle.

Finally, I want to say a big thanks to every single one of you that have sent a note, or called, or emailed, or spoken a word of encouragement to me or Rachel while we went through this.  One thing that I definitely found out is that there is no shame in sharing things like this with your friends.  I not only got several job leads from that, but just the occasional "How's everything going?" was a good motivator to keep steady and bring to remembrance that there were people out there that truly cared.